You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
