Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
