I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
