Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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