Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
