I just pynch a tree in the face
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
