these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
