you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
