Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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