Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Even my vagina gasped.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
