So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
