I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
