Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
