great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
