By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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