Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
