Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
