If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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