He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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