Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
