Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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