where am i from again
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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