Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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