the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
