TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
