i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
