Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i believe in u and ur pee
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
