The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
