I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
