Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
