Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
