and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
