Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
