Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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