my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
