You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
