You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
