So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize