I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
