You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
