are you still at the devil's house?
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
