He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
