Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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