I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
