i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
