Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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