Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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