Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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