I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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