C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
