I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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