I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
