Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize
