Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
