love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
