That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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