I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
