barbara walters just said penis...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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