Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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